Why I Don't Write About Cruise Ships
Too big, too crowded and too overwhelming. Otherwise, fine? Not in my experience.
If you’re reading this newsletter for travel tips and free stuff, you might be wondering why I don’t write about cruise ships. Let me count the reasons. And then I’ll explain how cruise ships can affect your travel plans even if you never sail on one.
Cruise Ships Are Too Big
How big? Taller than the Eiffel Tower and five times the size of Titanic. That’s just ONE ship, the newly-launched Icon of the Seas. It’s billed as the world’s largest, but it won’t be for long. The industry is expected to launch more mega-ships in the future.
Cruise Ships are Too Crowded
You’d think something that huge would have lots of space for 7,600 travelers with 20 decks, 40 bars and restaurants, a water park and seven pools. Especially if you watch those TV commercials that make it look like you’ll have the entire ship to yourself.
But just do the math. That’s one pool for 1,085 of you and your closest friends. And their kids. All of that humanity — plus more than 2,000 crew members — in a floating petri dish. What could go wrong? Germs.
Cruise Ships Are Overwhelming
My heart sinks every time I see one of these behemoths cast its monstrous shadow over an old town like Dubrovnik in Croatia. The medieval walls have withstood centuries of invaders, but weren’t equipped for an onslaught of day-trippers who contribute little to the local economy because they eat and sleep on the ship. The best I can do is write a blog post called How to Beat the Crowds in Dubrovnik and hope that it helps someone stay one step ahead of the horde.
NEW on the blog this month, read about my family trip to St. Lucia. Even though I didn’t come on a ship or stay anywhere near the port, the cruise crowds meant that we had to get an early start on sightseeing to beat the tour groups. We even skipped a few things. The drive-in volcano had become an assembly line for visitors on a tight schedule to cover themselves with volcanic mud, get the photo op, rinse off and make it back to the ship in time.
Cruise Ships and the Environment
I’m gonna tread carefully here, but it mystifies me that the Greta Thunberg crowd hasn’t protested these carbon-belching monsters. The cruise industry touts the use of alternative fuels like LNG. Press releases crunch the numbers for carbon-output comparisons with other kinds of travel, including hotel stays and air/ground transportation. Let’s not forget that cruise passengers also have to fly to and from the ship and maybe spend the night at the embarkation port.
And how did cruise ships escape the Green Deal policies of EU countries like Germany? Windmills are sprouting everywhere. Mandates to ditch fossil fuel make it expensive not to freeze in the dark. Drivers are supposed to junk their gas-guzzlers for plug-ins. And yet, Germany’s Meyer Werft shipyard continues to crank out more luxury cruise ships.
My Cruise Ship Experience
Cruise enthusiasts have told me the ships are a relatively affordable alternative for people with kids, limited mobility or lacking the time and energy to visit multiple destinations on their own. So my family decided to try it.
My husband is allergic to tobacco smoke due to growing up with a chain-smoking parent, so we booked on the Carnival Paradise. At the time it was billed as the world’s only smoke-free cruise ship. We didn’t mind our tiny cabin. You don’t spend much time there with all of the other things to do, right?
Wrong. Our 11-year-old kid hated the children’s program and escaped. When found, he was enjoying a drink in the piano bar. A shore excursion to go scuba diving in the Bahamas was an exercise in racing to the dive shop and cutting short our second dive so as not to miss the ship’s departure. Mealtimes were a stressful exercise in making small talk at our assigned table.
Worse, word got out that I was a journalist because other passengers recognized me as a TV news anchor. Crew members pulled me aside to share sad stories from their cramped quarters below deck, describing their jobs as indentured servitude far from home. We couldn’t wait to get off the boat, but they couldn’t. On the upside, we did get some really nice towel animals on our beds and we tipped generously.
Sometime after our cruise in 2002, smoking returned to the Carnival Paradise. Apparently non-smokers aren’t profitable because they don’t spend as much in the bar or casino. Today, there are NO smoke-free cruise ships, although smoking may be limited to designated areas.
Cruise Ship Alternatives
I’ll admit it’s probably not fair to form an opinion based on my family’s worst vacation ever, 22 years ago. If some cruise line thinks they can change my mind with a press trip, they’re welcome to try. Just because I don’t like it, I shouldn’t ruin the fun for everyone else by sticking up for historical preservation and environmental concerns. But there are alternatives to the “big boat” experience that won’t break your wallet.
My friend Donald is a travel consultant who writes a Substack about his cruise experiences on smaller ships. On a recommendation from my broadcasting students in Vietnam, we cruised the UNESCO heritage Bai Tu Long Bay on a traditional Indochina junk with a capacity of 20 people or less. And my friend Linda is a travel agent who connected my family with an unforgettable custom Egypt tour and cruise on the Nile.
Cruising into the Future
Unfortunately, there’s no getting away from ever-growing cruise crowds in some of the world’s most popular destinations. Venice is already overwhelmed. The city has tried limiting the size of tour groups and taxing day-trippers.
Some ships have been diverted to the nearby Italian port of Trieste and to Koper in the tiny country of Slovenia, where I live part time. Cruise visitors do their best to race from the Adriatic coast to the capital city of Ljubljana, Lake Bled and the Postojna Caves in one day. While this provides much-needed business for my tour guide friends, it doesn’t help the country’s efforts to promote, clean, green, sustainable tourism. Choose wisely.
Also in the News This Month
Touchless Airport security: Coming soon to a few US airports, some TSA Pre-check travelers won’t have to show ID to get through security because of face-recognition technology. You have to consent during the check-in process, as the Points Guy explains.
If you travel overseas, applying for Global Entry’s Trusted Traveler program is worth the money. It’s not FREE but some credit cards will reimburse you for the appplication fee. On my recent return to Miami Airport, the passport kiosk scanned my face. The border agent only needed to welcome me by name and wave me through the checkpoint. But in a country that has lost track of a couple million immigrants, I can’t decide if this is a great way to save time or scary that the government’s opinion of my face could determine whether I’m permitted to travel. Let me know what you think.
Safe travels and see you next month.
Too Big Brother for me, but it’s coming for all of us sooner or later.
I'm OK with small ships that don't overwhelm the place they're visiting. And thanks for giving me another good reason to be wary of this face-recognition stuff.